Plague Diary, Day 15

Even without access to my beloved gym, I’ve lost five pounds since the start of March. Maybe it’s all the reasonably healthy home cooked meals. Maybe Tom Brady really was onto something with his resistance band workouts. Likely it’s the long daily walks and the serious booze reduction. I’ve been content with just a single quality beer every other day.

Here’s the magic workout if you want to try it for yourself.

Day 1: Stretching, pushups, squats, and a variety of upper body exercises with resistance bands (overhead press, tricep extensions, front and side shoulder raises).

Day 2: A wide variety of body weight exercises focusing on the core (dead bugs, bird dogs, cannonball crunches) and the legs (hip abductions, calf raises, marching glute bridges).

Day 3: Stretching, planks, lunges, and some more upper body shit with resistance bands (curls, good mornings, shrugs, bent over rows).

Day 4: Run for most of 2 to 3 miles, depending on how much patience I have for that shit at the time.

Rinse, lather, and repeat. After four months in quarantine you should have John Basedow abs.

What else?

I’m three episodes into Tiger King now, and I think my favorite character is Doc Antle. He’s inspired me to start a my own zoo cult, perhaps with a focus on goats instead of tigers. And I don’t think Carole Baskin did it; I think her husband decided to run off on his own.

A few local businesses have announced they won’t be reopening. This is sad. On the other hand, the possibility of cool new ventures opening their doors because creative people needed something to do while in semi-lockdown is kind of cool.

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