Plague Diary, Days 25 and 26

Bernie ended his campaign. I am sad. Turns out his team and I made the same incorrect assumption: that his success in the midwest during the 2016 primaries suggested some innate connection to the working class in those states and wasn’t just a result of how much those people inexplicably despise Hillary Clinton.

Joe Biden’s a deeply flawed candidate, but god damn he’d make a better president than Donnie Two Scoops. At the very least Biden wouldn’t be intercepting shipments of PPE from states he doesn’t like to redirect them to states he does. Refusing to vote for him because your first choice lost or because you’re falling for the propaganda trying to paint him as no better than the current asshole is dangerous and immature. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s being immature.

If it helps, here’s my plan: I’m not treating November as Biden vs. Trump, but rather as one of those yes or no ballot questions. Do you want four more years of stupidity? Do you think Jared Kushner is worth a damn? Do you want to see Ruth Bader Ginsburg replaced with some Fox News looking asshole who pretends to pray after he beats his wife? Do you think the president is above the law and can do whatever the fuck he wants? Do you like having a commander-in-chief who looks like a burrito the new guy at Anna’s couldn’t wrap quite right?

No sir, I do not. I will tick that box next to Diamond Joe’s name and I will do so with gusto.

What else?

The best social distancing care package I’ve received arrived in my email yesterday: a free code for the latest version of Out of the Park Baseball from my beloved Boston Red Sox. They just ensured I’ll be a season ticket holder for life, although I may never leave my desk again.

The stock market’s closed today due to Jesus or something and now I know how crusty suburban alcoholics feel when they can’t get to the track. I’m up about 40% in the last month, mostly by taking 15-20% profits whenever possible and rolling them into new short term bets looking for similar payouts. Shorting chain restaurants worked well for a while, but this week I pivoted into shares of and options on depressed oil stocks. I’m going to hold some of the bigger names long term.

I might have to fire up DraftKings and gamble on eSports. Do they do Farm Simulator? I got twenty bucks that says TractorBanger69’s soybean crop is trash.

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