Attention people who remove their masks to speak

What is you doing?!?!?!?!?!?

Number one, we can all hear you just fine through your mask. You are too loud.

Number two, removing your mask so you can flap your gums defeats the purpose of having one in the first place. It’s there to stop potentially corona-laced moisture globules from spilling out of your pie hole and out into the world at large. When you remove your mask to tell your neighbor all about the new healing crystals you bought you are spewing more than just the usual bullshit out into the world. Leave your mask in place and let it do its job. The mask is your friend.

Taking it off is like putting the jerk sock back under your mattress before you finish. Sure, it may feel more natural, but there’s no way you’ll ever clean up all the mess. You’re unleashing billions of tiny beasties out into the environment that only care about finding a new host in which to reproduce. And no, you don’t have to pay child support for your poorly planned corona babies, but maybe you should.

So don’t be a fool – wrap your tool. I really don’t understand why this is so fucking hard for people.

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