What weird bullshit should the Red Sox put in the stands behind home plate?

One of the best things about watching Korean baseball is the way they’ve had fun with the empty stands behind home plate. I’ve seen mascots, Pokemon, and all kinds of shit back there that makes me smile. If MLB doesn’t steal this idea, then frankly, they’re fucking stupid.

We know they won’t, because we know they’re fucking stupid, but still.

If you’re the Boston Red Sox and you want to do something similar, what do you do? Realistically you’d just put Wally and his entire extended scumbag family in those seats, but let’s pretend they all died in a fire or something. I’ve got better ideas.

  • Pictures of former broadcasters. Let’s get McDonough, Orsillo, Jenny Dell, and Hazel Mae back on NESN.
  • Cardboard cutouts of the Dropkick Murphys.
  • Fallout 4 characters. Turn the place into Diamond City.
  • All the leftover Pablo Sandoval Kung Fu Panda merchandise.
  • Grab all the affiliated minor league mascots that are out of a job and put them behind the plate.
  • For one game, make it one dude in a gorilla costume and imply Theo Epstein just walked out on the Cubs and needs a new gig.
  • The Wahlbergs. No, not cardboard cutouts. The real deal. No one in New England cares if these losers get sick.

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