Attention people who remove their masks to speak

What is you doing?!?!?!?!?!? Number one, we can all hear you just fine through your mask. You are too loud. Number two, removing your mask so you can flap your gums defeats the purpose of having one in the first place. It’s there to stop potentially corona-laced moisture globules from spilling out of your pieContinue reading “Attention people who remove their masks to speak”

The missing phases of Massachusetts’s reopening plan

Governor Charlie Baker has released a four-phase plan outlining how the state will reopen. It’s not too shabby for something seemingly put together without enough data just to make all the complainers shut the fuck up. A quick review: Phase 1, Start: Limited reopening of industries where physical distancing isn’t a huge issue. This mostContinue reading “The missing phases of Massachusetts’s reopening plan”

I love the Patriots draft

Hot on the heels of Tom Brady’s departure for Tampa, the New England Patriots turned in the most Belichickian draft of all time. Obviously they need a quarterback, said every dumb ass TV analyst and local yokel rippin’ butts outside Dunks. Belichick took a Division II safety, three linebackers, two tight ends, some offensive linemen,Continue reading “I love the Patriots draft”

Day 32 to whatever: The Scott Colby Guide to Home Schooling

The internet, local news, and several of my acquaintances are abuzz about the difficulty of continuing their children’s education at home during this lockdown. Replicating an educational school environment is hard! It’s also bullshit, because school – despite the obvious advantages of a solid education – is mostly a waste of time. Just like mostContinue reading “Day 32 to whatever: The Scott Colby Guide to Home Schooling”

Plague Diary, Days 30 and 31

When I heard someone had declared WWE an essential business I knew immediately it was those whack jobs in Florida. They’ll be adding Scientology services, Disneyland, and MLM seminars to the list soon enough. I love my wrestling, but this shit ain’t essential. And yet…I do think entertainers willing to separate themselves from the generalContinue reading “Plague Diary, Days 30 and 31”

Plague Diary, Day 28 and 29

After slogging through the first eighth of the season in Sony’s excellent MLB The Show 20, I’ve learned a lot about what the Red Sox would’ve looked like this year. That starting rotation really is a mess – even with Chris Sale healthy. Eduardo Rodriguez is good, sure, but the boys after that struggle toContinue reading “Plague Diary, Day 28 and 29”

Plague Diary, Day 27

I’m hearing and reading more and more discussions of how we’ll see vast systemic change for the better when this is over. People are talking universal health care, universal basic income, universal remotes, the works. This feels naive. 9/11 didn’t bring an end to American intervention in bullshit places. Hurricane Katrina didn’t lead to anContinue reading “Plague Diary, Day 27”

Plague Diary, Days 25 and 26

Bernie ended his campaign. I am sad. Turns out his team and I made the same incorrect assumption: that his success in the midwest during the 2016 primaries suggested some innate connection to the working class in those states and wasn’t just a result of how much those people inexplicably despise Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden’sContinue reading “Plague Diary, Days 25 and 26”